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| Two beautiful, busy babies. Kate and cousin, Evie. |
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| Bit of a wardrobe malfunction, but still cute! |
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| Watching the bubbles |
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| Rah!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Hmm. They're interesting. |
I’ve always
thought that chocolate chunk brownies – especially when they’re
still warm from the oven – are quite miraculous. And it’s not
just because of the astounding number of calories which can be
crammed into one tiny tidbit of brownie bliss. I also now appreciate how
wonderfully distracting it can be just to shut the brain off and
switch the taste-buds on to making something devilishly yummy for a
half-hour.
And so it
came to be that while the rest of my family snoozed away a summery
Saturday, I found myself baking another batch of brownies in a
desperate attempt to get my brain to switch off.
Since
Katelyn’s surgery date has been set for Monday 28 May, I have lurched
from feelings of calm to calamity. It’s great that we now have a
date for her operation – in a strange way, knowing that that’s
it – and that despite my best efforts there’s nothing more I can
do get it shifted forward – is kind of good. Yeah, sure, life, as
we know it is on hold for another two or so months, but at least
there’s now an end to the wait in sight. We know it’s going to be
28 May and can plan – what we can – around it. Even though we're 'private'
patients, the procedure is classified as major surgery and is not
performed outside the public hospital system.
So, smooth
sailing 'til then. And then the waves of worry wash over and try to
tug me down. They usually crash over and dunk me when I'm least
expecting it – quite literally 'out of the blue'.
"Will we still be able to fit Katelyn in the
(already crammed) back seat of our car? Will we need to get a new
car-seat? What about our pram? Will we need to get a new one of
those? If she can't have a bath, how will we keep her clean? Turning
her over day and night every couple of hours do she doesn't develop
sores.... I’m already a scary ogre on not enough sleep – am I
going to turn into Fiona from Shrek? How the hell are we going to
change her nappy? She won’t be able to wear regular clothes because
the plaster cast will be so wide from her tummy down both legs –
and then there'll be that weird metal bar between her knees in the
cast. How will we get clothes around that!?!? Will I still be able
to spend quality time with the boys? What are they going to miss out on?
How will they cope with having to hang out at the hospital? They're
so young themselves – how will they understand that she can't
wrestle with them any more? Is all of this because of something I
did? Or because of something I didn't do? I find myself looking at
other little girls her age who are tearing around the place and find
myself feeling resentful. And then I feel bad about that too. I must
be an awful person to think things like that. And OMG – the operation. Will she be scared? How will she feel when she
wakes up? Will she be sad? Will she be hurting? What will we be able
to do to help her?
And what if she doesn't stop crying!?!?!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Stop!.
Take a
deep breath...
..and smell those brownies.
We have been told to expect answers to all of these questions (plus probably heaps we
haven't even thought about, yet) at a 'family meeting' at the
Hospital on 5 April. Grant and I will attend this special appointment to go over the operation in
more detail and learn how we'll need to take care of Katelyn once
she's home from her one-week Hospital stay. We'll get to talk to her
two surgeons (we have now met both Dr.s Ho and Tewari, and they're
lovely) and the paediatric physiotherapist, orthopaedic specialist
and a social worker whose role it will be to arrange support
(including in-home care) for our family.
But, until then, I'm doing what I can to remain calm, strong and in control. Keeping afloat, rather than being sucked under.
And, on the up-side, I guess if you have a hankering for Brownies, at least you now know where you can get some. You may just have to get past Will for a piece, though! Like his Mummy, he's rather passionate about chocolate. ;-)
